Manuel Pellegrini is a bloodsucking vampire.
When he’s not flapping around the Carrington Training Centre, he’s busy feeding on the life essence of living creatures, doing his best to avoid a stake through the heart and James Milner’s overly garlicky breath.
Life is tough for old Manuel.
After all, being the only vampire gaffer in the country is a lonely existence. While most managers are at home sipping a beer, Pellegrini forlornly irons his cape and wishes for the day when the undead are welcomed into the EPL with open arms.
But Pellegrini’s stint in England’s top tier could be coming to an unfortunate end.
His side’s recent reversal at the hands of van Gaal’s United left the Chilean spitting blood, with the 4-2 defeat a real knockout blow for City’s Champions League hopes, subsequently hammering another nail in Manuel’s coffin.
Putting Pellegrini’s penchant for parasitical pastimes and derby defeats aside for just a minute, however, here are three more things you definitely didn’t know about the beleaguered 61-year-old Manchester City gaffer …
1. He Won a Chilean Talent Content
It’s hard to believe given his grouchiness in the dugout, but Pellegrini was actually one of his native country’s hottest music stars in the 80s. His life as a singer began on the Chilean talent contest, estrella Del Pop, where he scooped the top prize – and the hearts of pensioners around the country – with his version of Conway Twitty’s I Can See the Want to in Your Eyes.
2. He’s In The Guinness Book of Records
While Pellegrini’s broken a few club records in his long career, it’s his entry in the Guinness Book of Records he’s most proud of. The achievement? World’s Longest Nose Hair. This whopper of a hair came in at a staggering two metres and was proudly plucked by Pellegrini to be made in to a jacket for 12 homeless children in South America.
3. He Spent His Entire Playing Career at One Club
As a player, Pellegrini spent his entire career as a centre back with Universidad de Chile, appearing for the team in over 400 matches in 13 years. While this may seem impressive, rumour has it Manuel was reluctant to leave as the local blood bank was situated opposite the stadium.
While some, none or all of the above may or may not be true, it’ll be interesting to see what becomes of Manchester City’s under fire boss in the days and weeks to come – but whatever happens, Pellegrini’s bloodsucking tendencies will almost certainly rise again.
‘til next time …