It’s easy to loathe Alan Pardew.
Aside from a reputation as a bit of lunatic, he looks like the kind of bloke who’d skip in line at the bar, nip your girlfriend’s arse and blame it on his mate.
As a long-suffering Magpies fan, this would be the final straw, as you drag him out of the pub before beating him with a bin bag full of broken Byker Grove mugs.
When we add in last weekend’s 4-0 drubbing at Southampton, it’s safe to say Alan Pardew is less popular round St James’ Park way than a duffel coat on a female reveller at the Bigg Market.
Even before the Shocker at St Mary’s, however, fans held aloft “Sack Pardew” banners, with one Geordie later restrained by stewards after invading the pitch, furious at his team’s lacklustre performance.
Undeniably, pressure is mounting on Newcastle chairman Mike Ashley to swing the axe, as just five league wins from the last 25 games (17 goals scored and 45 conceded) has made Pardew’s charges unlikely relegation candidates.
We should’ve seen it coming, really.
TEMPERS FLARE ON THE TOUCHLINE
As the Toon Army’s Chief of Staff, Pardew’s tenure has been shrouded in controversy. He’s clashed with Manuel Pellegrini, famously calling the Manchester City boss a “f***ing old c**t”, and stuck the silver head on Hull City midfielder David Meyler.
If he’d been holding a kebab and sporting a ripped shirt, nobody would’ve been surprised.
After being found guilty of “pushing Meyler away with his head”, Pardew was given a seven-game ban, fined £100,000 from the club and hammered for a further £60,000 from the FA.
Additionally, when he was manager of West Ham, Pardew was involved in a dramatic touchline tussle with Arsene Wenger after celebrating a last-minute goal like an amphetamine-fuelled orangutan.
When he’s not acting like he’s on a stag party in Amsterdam, Pardew can be found at Darsley Park training ground nursing a hangover, making prank telephone calls to Joe Kinnear and stroking a picture of Faustino Asprilla.
One thing’s for sure, however – if his team’s current form continues in the same vein, the Newcastle United gaffer could be relieved of his duties before Christmas, with David Moyes, Steve McClaren, Steve Bruce and Tim Sherwood all being touted to replace him.
Just remember to keep your missus indoors if Pardew is eventually given his marching orders…